Let's go back a few steps before leaping full-on into turtles that use sex toys and ask a question I'm sure we've all wondered at one point in time: How do you tell a boy turtle from a girl turtle? If one refuses to wear pink jumpers and the other won't watch Vin Diesel movies, then you're in a bit of a bind, as turtles keep their junk close to the chest. They keep that shit inside a shell. Some species allow for easy identification based on claw shape or shell patterns or color of their cool ninja masks.

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(Monkey says that the average age of its users is only 17.) Monkey is the brainchild of Turner and co-founder Ben Pasternak. The two met years ago as most kids these days do: on the Internet. They finally met in person at Apple's app developer conference, WWDC, in 2015. Soon after, Pasternak was calling Turner with the idea for Monkey, a way to create a community of teens where they could meet people or find others with shared interests. 'Chatroulette wasn't a very inspiring place,' said Turner. 'We didn't want to create anything like that.

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Monkey has been downloaded almost three million times since it launched in November 2016, according to mobile app analytics company App Annie, and averaged 300,000 monthly active users during Q2 of 2017. (Monkey claims its actual usage is much higher, in the millions.) It's particularly popular among teens and young adults. According to App Annie, Monkey was the number-one app downloaded by 13-to-24 year-olds in April, and has remained in the top 10 ever since. Currently, it's the ninth most popular app among that age group. The average user is 23, according to analytics firm Sensor Tower, and it's pretty evenly split between female and male users -- 48 to 52 percent.

His most notorious hack to date was when he found a security flaw in Yo, the viral app that let you send a simple message -- 'Yo' -- to your friends. He managed to get a push notification that said '#YoBeenHacked' to its users. As a result, Yo developer Or Arbel hired Turner. He dropped out of high school at 15 to take the opportunity. 'My parents didn't help me to drop out, but once it finally happened they supported my decision,' Turner admitted. 'If I hadn't done it I wouldn't have started Monkey, and Monkey is one of the best things that happened.'

This particular flea in this particular foot managed to outlast a typical infection and never laid any eggs, leading the researcher to believe it had never been fertilized. This means that they normally do have that dirty foot sex, and this one missed the boat because it was being so closely monitored. Knowing when and how sand fleas get their hump on means knowing more about the disease you're trying to prevent in places where infection rates reach as high as 50 percent, meaning literally half of everyone who may go near sand in some of these countries is getting infected. All because sand fleas like doin' it on us more than anything. That's fucked. Monkey Prostitution I would say I am a supporter of sex work, insofar as I believe anyone should be free to choose that path if they want to, and I've argued that before. I also support monkeys in literally every form they take -- even the weird ones like the proboscis monkeys, which look like that have ballsacks for noses.

Since the app is connected to, there never seems to be a shortage of teens eager to chat. As with so many social-networking tools, a teen's experience will depend a lot on other users' behavior. It's important to note that some users report abuse and requests for baring body parts, so it could be easy for some teens to get into trouble. There's also a mix of older and younger teens, which can be a risky recipe.

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They truly are miracles of the sea. Because of their friendly disposition and relatively good PR, if you're the kind of marine mammologist who studies them, you're bound to get a bit of press. It also helps if your method of study involves inflating dolphin penises to see how they fit in dolphin vaginas. That's the kind of headline that sells papers. Orbach fond a way to harvest parts from dolphins that had died from natural causes -- whole penises and vaginas, specifically. Then, as God shrieked in the background, like NSFW meat balloons and start playing Squish 'n' Smash.

There's nothing particularly coy about the title of the paper, as it cuts to the meat of the issue, as it were, and leaves it all on the table. This guy compared the butts of people who had been fisted with the butts of people who'd had sex with animals -- or at least, the medical records of said butts. And hold on to your own butt, because you may be surprised to learn that the butts in question all had similar trauma. That's what happens when you go nutty in the butty. So without making you endure the details of the, which I did read and will now carry with me for the rest of my life because I don't know how to un-know things, I'll summarize the key points that make it a winner in the fields of science and butt.

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