By Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D. Little girls who live without a father do so not only due to death, abandonment, or divorce, but also due to physically present fathers but who are emotionally absent, or ill over a lengthy period of time in some way (clinical depression, terminal disease, etc.), or because the father is a workaholic.

She kisses you like you are the first person she has ever kissed, and it will keep you up at night, in the best way possible. Everything is fun and exciting. She will do whatever she can to make sure it is fun. She needs it to be fun. She knows darkness already too well. She will be careful in her words.

And I grew up with my mother and a brother. My mom taught and raised me to be strong and independent. She never bought me toys and I never asked for it. When I was a kid, I never once questioned my dad's absence and somehow feel okay with it. However, as I grow older, I realized that as a daughter and growing up without a father figure does affected my emotional health and personality.

She will shy away from discussing problems. She tiptoes when you wish she would just walk. You don’t understand how someone so feisty, so full of opinions and fire, can go mute when confrontation approaches. She is flight when you would have been sure she’d fight. You get too close, things get too real, and she runs. She has tennis shoes on stand. A girl without a father does not want to create waves because she has been underwater longer than she cares to explain.

Those early years may have left them without the foundation necessary to be competent and caring parents. Most certainly, not everyone has it in them to be a mom or dad. Parenting is a job that requires tremendous selflessness and sacrifice, and not everyone is up to the task.

If they don't deal with the cause of their sadness—an absent dad—they may never be able to develop healthy relationships with men. To top it all off, data suggests that children without fathers are more than twice as likely to commit suicide. According to Denna Babul and Karin Louise, authors of The Fatherless Daughter Project, it's helpful to simply realize that we're not alone. In fact, one in three women see themselves as fatherless and struggle with feelings of abandonment. Knowing this fact helps us see that there's a whole sisterhood out there who share a common pain and a need to connect. When we open up and share our journey, we help both ourselves and each other. Whether we feel the loss of a dad through death, divorce, drug addiction, estrangement, or emotional neglect, we must grieve in order to move forward.

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